Adventures Among Spiritual Intelligences
The dolphin midwives are ready.
With their bodies they catch and
hold the newly born between
them. Then, rising to the surface,
they guide the young one to her
first conscious breath. It is the
most natural thing in the world,
the birth of a new being-and by
our standards, a miraculously
gentle birth . . . .
As I was toweling off after this first swim with Joe and Rosie, Roberta Quist made her way along the side of the enclosure. We had not met before, but I knew from Toni Lilly that "Bertie" was the dolphin handler currently entrusted with preparing Joe and Rosie for their eventual release back into the wild -- to quite literally untrain them! I felt an immediate and open-hearted contact with Roberta, the sort of empathy that makes those in the dolphin community such rewarding people to encounter and get to know. Being with dolphins on an ongoing basis tends to yield a very trusting and open nature. We sat down on the warm raft, the dolphins squeaking excitedly at the sight of their friend Bertie.
"They're really different in the way they're receiving people now from how they were when I first knew them a few years ago," Roberta said. She called it an "opening up of the relationship" and told me a little of what she had observed about the nature of fear.
"The dolphins must see us as being very conditioned by it," she said, "because almost everybody who actually goes into the water with them has to deal with his or her own fears to some degree or another. And now with Joe and the way he's being . . . " she let the phrase dangle.
I caught the reference and asked her what she had noticed and whether Joe had been any different recently. "He's been quite vicious -- although at this point only with people he loves," she responded. "Only a few days ago he really badly raked Carl, the other person who helps me out here -- and for no reason that Carl could understand. The general consensus is that Joe's coming to the end of his patience. He's showing us what keeping dolphins in longterm, continuous captivity can do to them. So far nothing too serious has happened, but we're making sure no new people go in with him right now."
I grinned awkwardy and told her about my swim with him only minutes before she had arrived, deciding to speak openly about what I had just been through. "Yes," she confirmed, "I've noticed that too. He relaxes at exactly the point I let go of an emotional state. He uses his penis like a finger -- after all, it's the only finger he's got! It's his digit. It's we who sexualize the whole thing and bring in our own fears and fantasies."
I relaxed at that, feeling a lot less foolish. She looked at me quizzically for a moment out of her wide, delphinoid face. "You ready to go in there again?"
I recalled the first bad car wreck I had, back in my early twenties, and how the complete stranger who had taken me to the hospital had insisted that I drive his car so I would not become forever shy of driving. "Sure, let's go," I said, thinking to myself that having Roberta in there as well might take a little of the heat off me.
The moment I was in the middle of the pool, sure enough Joe came right in again with his penis, hooking it very viciously and accurately behind my left knee and yanking hard. The force of the blow turned me twice over in the water. Once again I found that going limp and allowing it to happen seemed to be the easiest way through. There was nothing I could do to stop him. He was not about to allow me out of the pool, and, besides, I was rather curious as to what else might be going on. Was I simply being used as a whipping boy by a tired old alpha male, angry and perhaps a little crazy? I realized by this time that he could so easily have killed me in one of twenty different ways, his sonar telling him exactly where to strike. Yet his blows were consistent and accurate. And I had no real recurrence of my rape fears, which must have meant that they had largely been released.
Was it merely dolphin envy? In the brief moments of calm, while Roberta was trying to distract him, I wondered if Joe's aggression might not have more to do with Rosie than with me. At yet another point I became convinced that Joe was trying to teach me how to swim dolphin style, by bending and undulating my waist and knees. So I attempted to cross the enclosure underwater a couple of times, swimming in this (for me) extremely awkward way. But by the end of my efforts, Joe was in on me again, unimpressed.
All in all, I felt a lot less threatened during this swim, partly because I knew I had already survived one such thrashing with no worse than a few bruises and also because Roberta's presence was deeply supportive. It was something I had to go through; she knew it, I knew it -- and there was little doubt that both Joe and Rosie knew it. Then, as Joe showed absolutely no signs of stopping, anger started building up inside me. His attacks were becoming intensely painful, since he was zoning in on the same point again and again, and I felt an old fury flaring up -- the anger I had repressed so firmly at school during all the ritual beatings I had taken. On Joe's next pass, I kicked out angrily at him as he flashed by me. Amazingly, I connected, and he looked over his fin at me -- directly in the eye -- in apparent dolphin surprise. But I was still angry as all hell with him, and next time he came at me I timed my lunge, again catching him very forcibly on the top of his melon. That stopped him for a moment. And then, I got it! He had forced me to stand up for myself in what appeared to be an utterly hopeless situation -- in fact, to reverse the masochistic imprint I had developed as a result of the old attempts made to break my spirit.
I took a moment to quietly let go, to release the fear and the anger. In the midst of my thankfulness, the pool was suddenly silent. And then there was Joe again, his melon up against my feet, my toes rubbing him and feeling the warmth of the contact with his soft, silky skin. As before, once I had got the point, he stopped ramming me. In light of what happened, I certainly do not believe it was merely sexually orientated behavior, as is sometimes claimed to be the case by some dolphin handlers. Through my time spent with dolphins, I have become convinced that they are acutely aware of energy in a way few humans are. Possibly this is because their sense organs can perceive into far finer realms of vibration than ours. If their acoustic sensibilities and their capacity to "hear" up to two hundred thousand cycles per second -- about ten times our range -- is any indication, it clearly suggests they are capable of handling and processing extremely subtle energies.
Within this understanding I can well believe that Joe was able to "see" the repressed, or trapped, energy inside me. Looking back on that situation with what I now know, I realize I was carrying a great deal of this repressed fear and anger in the area of my base chakra, at the bottom of my spine. I also have the feeling that it was connected to my solar plexus -- imprinted onto my third chakra, the center of my animal power. Not only was Joe pushing me into standing up for myself, but I have come to believe he might well have been performing some elegant acupressure on the main meridian connecting my left knee to my solar plexus.
When I came out of the water after that second swim with Joe and Rosie, I was shivering all over. It was not from cold or tiredness, nor was I conscious of being frightened. I had the strong awareness at the time that some energy manipulation was going on and that I was simply feeling the physical effects of it.
I slept particularly well that night, though bruised and a trifle punchy from my brawls with Joe. Next day, as I sat in my car outside the dolphin enclosures, I summarized for myself what was going on. It was clear to me that Joe had been pushing me into climbing on top of my fear circuits -- not simply into passivity, but into parity. It was strong medicine, but already I was feeling different. I had been able to open to my companion in our previous evening's lovemaking with a degree of trust that neither of us could previously recall. The deep sense of betrayal I had chosen to carry, the betrayal of a child by adults, felt as though it had been clearly seen, accepted, and released; and I knew in those moments that I was free of that particularly virulent fear-trapped thoughtform.
In the lucid clarity of these considerations, sitting in my car that morning in the warm sunlight with my journal on my lap, I asked my inner voice to give me the larger viewpoint. My hand recorded: "Dolphins bridge the two [primary] realities, the mental/spiritual and the emotional/physical world of matter. They have to deal with the same basic building blocks of reality as you do, but their mode of comprehending and thus dealing with this shared reality is very different from that of the human species. They are bridging the gap and holding these two primary realms of reality simultaneously. Two nights ago, you experienced more fully the primary spiritual reality as coproduced through the dolphins. That is the nature of the parallel reality at this point of integration. It is your fear circuits that prevent you from occupying it more fully, and it is these circuits that the dolphins are here to rewire. Players in this drama of contingent, coexisting, and to-be-integrated realities are often inimical to each other while these realities are in the process of being stitched together.
At this point, the radio in my car played "Looks like we made it." With the writing coming to a natural halt, I got out of the car, let myself in to Dolphins Plus, and walked around the enclosure and down to the platform where Roberta was already quietly talking to the dolphins. I asked if I could join her, and we sat down together while she continued to feed them their diet of dead fish.
Immediately I started getting a strong psychic pull from Joe and Rosie, as if they really wanted me in the water with them. But after yesterday's thrashings, I found myself quite happy to delay the inevitable. Besides, I knew Roberta and I had some talking to do. I was able to tell her something of what I had been through with my fears and how I felt that Joe was helping me dislodge them from my energy field and my emotional body. I told her I had come to believe that at least some of the dolphins were here on the planet as bioacoustical surgeons, and I repeated for her the strange facts surrounding the sonic operation I had received from the wild dolphins back in St. Petersburg on the west coast of Florida.
"When I got back from Florida," I found myself pouring out my heart, "I tracked down an acoustical engineer through some architect friends and asked him if it would be possible to cut through living tissue with sound. He pondered the matter for awhile, taking it all quite seriously, and explained some of the procedures just coming on line for disintegrating kidney stones, for example, with focused beams of sound."
As I talked, I could see Joe and Rosie out of the corner of my eye coming closer and swimming slower and more lazily. Roberta was leaning toward me, her smiling face open and more than usually curious. I could feel my words taking on deeper levels of meaning, as if an overlighting influence had joined us.
"I told him how I'd had this powerful conviction that the dolphins had used their sonar on me to remove a small cancerous tumor, and I asked him how this could have been accomplished," I continued. "He saw the picture immediately and started getting quite excited. It all depended on the degree of control the dolphins have on the sounds they make, he said. If they're really able to modulate the frequency and pitch of the wave forms to the extent that seems possible, then two or more dolphins might well be able to transmit the same frequency sound wave and overlap the waves in such a way that at the point of intersection the combination would double or treble the power of the individual wave form. That would provide enough energy, under the correct conditions, to burn away living tissue."
The weird intensity continued to build. Joe appeared suddenly by the wooden float, sticking his head right up out of the water in what might have appeared to be a parody of listening to our conversation, but it was most certainly intentional behavior. I became aware, in those moments, of the triangle the three of us made and of the power inherent in the trinity form.
More words started spilling out of me. "You remember in the Urantia cosmology when the angels talk about the arrival of the first group of interdimensional beings? They make this big point about how a special unit of surgeons from another planet altogether-the Surgeons of Avalon, they call them (see appendix B) -- were brought in to create the material bodies for the beings to inhabit. Well, it stands to reason those surgeons would want to have an ongoing relationship with their patients, wouldn't they? I doubt very much if they simply created the bodies, then washed their hands -- or flippers -- and went on their way. Surely they'd have left some sort of delegation -- especially if the planet was seen as an important planet, and an experimental one to boot!"
And all the time I am talking I can see Joe, sticking up out of the water like a great finger, seeming to hang on every word I say. I feel intuitively that I am talking in some way from -- or into -- the group soul. As I sit here in the radiant sunlight, watching the rhythmic glint of gold on each small wave and hearing the soft wind mewing through the palms and the lilt of the sounds of sea birds and cicadas, I know in my heart that I have stumbled upon a marvelous truth. As warmth of this realization comes over me, I feel my mind switching to yet another gear, this one recognizably delphinoid, with visual images coming in a series of gestalts -- holographic fragments that are almost impossible to translate into sequential linear form.
Thought clusters, I had called this mode of communication when I had first encountered it with the dolphins off St. Petersburg beach. Now, with my spiritual vision, I can "see" images of dolphins swimming through the water shedding molecules of skin as they move: I "know" that is precisely how dolphins can swim as fast as they do, apparently much faster than they should be able to move according to purely hydrodynamic calculations. At the same time I "see" a kind of space entity that can live in, and move through, the supposed vacuum of the interstellar void by shedding the molecules on the surface of its skin. Simultaneously I know I am correct, and that among the dolphin population are indeed descendants of the surgeons that were sent in from Avalon and that they are here to midwife the fine new bodies of the coming race just as assiduously as their forebears sculpted bodies for our visiting interdimensional team half a million years ago. As this dawns on me in a long, slow broadening of illumination, I am led to see how the energy movement we create in meditation by drawing the chi (the subtle inner energy) up our spines -- and to see it pouring out from the top of our heads like a fountain -- is precisely the energy form that the dolphins use to speed their way through the water.
Roberta and I seem to have the same idea at the same moment, and we slide fluidly into the water. I suggest that we meditate together, keeping ourselves in a vertical position by holding onto the float with our arms and elbows. We hang there with our eyes closed and gently guide each other into a meditative state of mind, quieting our mental and physical rhythms and gathering the focused kundalini energy in our base chakras. We take our time building the energy, clearing and releasing any blocks we encounter before moving on to the next chakra. It is a warm and luxurious feeling, drawing the subtle but palpable energy up our spines and through our chakras.
We are both aware of the dolphins' sonar playing over our bodies as we do this. We progressively build the chi, bringing it up through the lower centers, then the heart center, the throat chakra, the third eye, and, finally, the crown. At that moment, both dolphins leap straight up and over in the most soaringly magnificent arc of pure joy, their trajectories perfectly tracing the fountain of crystalline energy that we are visualizing pouring from the top of our heads. It is a moment of total understanding. Roberta and I look at each other in wonderment, both knowing that the dolphins are demonstrating to us a miracle of communication. What is inside one moment is rendered external the next. This is a profound clue as to the nature of the intelligence with which we both feel so deeply in contact.
Table of Contents | Preface | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3